The heartbreaking truth of my students: Their inspiration to my reflection
Alternative
Feats: It Won’t Work Unless You Try
The
harder it gets,
When
it is too hard to bare,
I
write it all out.
When
life becomes expiry,
When
the darkness gets darker,
I
write it all out.
As
my troubles grow rigid,
As
my soul lacks nurture,
I
write it all out.
About
to explode,
My
breaking point is near, so
I
must write it out.
Ideally, the "I" in this
poem would be my students. I have noticed that most of them have cut markings
from elbow to wrist, and it breaks my heart. The majority of them have been, or
are going through, stuff that the normal person would crumble over. They are
stronger than they realize, and the thought of them cutting themselves to cope
with situations that are mostly out of their control is hard to even think
about.
About
a week ago, I had a student express the urge to show me a picture that was on
her phone. I responded that if she did her work, a few minutes before class
ended she could show me. To make a long story short, it was a picture of an arm.
An arm filled with cuts, bleeding cuts. I stayed calm and asked her who's arm
was in the photo...She proceeded to pull up her long sleeved shirt to show me
her newly cut wounds. I began to express my utmost regard of her and told her
that there were other alternatives, but I could tell she didn't hear me....like
actually believe what I was saying. The bell rang, and she ran out of class. I
reported the incident to her counselor, and I have not heard anything since.
When I ask her how she is doing, she shuts down. Her behavior in class is
self-destructive, and there seems to be little I can do to promote her success.
I encourage her every day, and when she does something right, I overly praise
her with complements (you can tell that this makes her feel better, but her
smile turns to blank soon after, and she shuts back down). This incident was a
big influence as to what the poem consists of; however she is, unfortunately,
not the only one struggling emotionally in my school.
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ReplyDeleteDear Emily,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this poem and the heartbreaking story behind it. My mommy heart is hurting for this poor girl and I hope that she will take your advice. You say she shuts down when you ask her how she is doing, but keep asking because one day she may just open up and let you in. Even though she isn't responding right now, I would bet that she remembers that you cared enough to ask her about her day, and sometimes that is all they need, one person to continually care. :)
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteI loved your poetry, thanks so much for sharing it! It is raw and applicable to anyone who reads it. The story of this young lady hurts me so much, but it comforts me to know that she trusted you enough to reach out to you. I truly hope she heeds your advice and approaches your if she needs anything else. I think this poem really expresses the importance of addressing your feelings and getting them out there, especially through writing. You are gong to be a great teacher, and I know you will find the way to show your students the power of writing. Many students see writing as a chore because they have never been shown that it can actually be fun! Thanks again for sharing this piece with us!
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a hard story to hear and even see. It is very sad to witness such young people fall apart and perish from their own struggles they go through daily. It is even tougher to see this crumble occur when you care so much for that person. What is terribly sad is that you’re in a classroom filled with these poor, lost students who don’t know what else to do. The great thing is that they have you to show them care and support.
I hope your specific student feels better soon and removes that self-destruct mechanism she is currently using. Also, I hope she listens and enacts your idea and expresses her feelings that way. I hope ALL of your students change their minds and expresses their feelings in a much less harmful way.
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteThank you for being that dependent and supportive figure in your students' lives. While this students may not open up to you now, or ever, she will most likely remember how you continuously greeted her and asked just how she is. This student will know that you care, and we can all hope that someday she will care for herself and well being as much as we do.
Thank you for using your own recommendation of writing to show students how powerful and freeing writing can be! Maybe you could share this with them! :) Thank you for being that caring constant figure for students and never let that trait of yours fade girl! Thank you for choosing teaching as your future profession Emily!